tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6642469491548710234.post6015544754082924621..comments2020-08-10T17:37:08.846-04:00Comments on Tifrosh Min Hatzibur: What did I sign up for--Disposable childrenAztecQueen2000http://www.blogger.com/profile/09371826731550331938noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6642469491548710234.post-81693111256033832062014-01-03T12:55:34.817-05:002014-01-03T12:55:34.817-05:00On one hand, I was at least happy that Mishpocha h...On one hand, I was at least happy that Mishpocha highlighted the work of this rabbi at all and the existence of this problem.<br /><br />Thinking about it more deeply, though, there's this perversion of the concepts of shame and blame.<br /><br />Yes, in the secular world, parents and teens can have relationships fall apart and kids can also end up on the streets. I've dealt with a number of such cases. In those situations, though, the estrangement is usually a source of shame. What this article is saying is that for some of these frum parents, the shame of having a daughter deviate from the norm is overwhelming, while the shame of kicking your daughter out of the house is not. THAT is what is truly messed up, and it reflects upside down priorities in a community. I really hate to make the comparison, but when I read the description of parents feeling so much shame and revenge, my first thought was of the evidence in a notorious "honor killing" case here, where a police wiretap caught the father complaining bitterly about his deceased daughters (their deaths had been staged to look like an accident).Law momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01859590966207623757noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6642469491548710234.post-3919497988260035032013-12-31T12:25:58.674-05:002013-12-31T12:25:58.674-05:00Ultimately, the extreme position of "throwing...Ultimately, the extreme position of "throwing out" nonconforming kids is a kind of 70s "scared straight" approach. The hope of the parents is that if the kid knows he can be thrown out for nonconforming, he'll stay on the straight and narrow. Occasionally a kid has to be thrown out so it's not an empty threat (and so others who may be thinking about rebelling can see that).<br /><br />It's immature on the parents' part because it doesn't see the kids as individuals. But even the Modern Orthodox way believes that Torah observance can, and should, work for everyone. Do you believe that? Your post already pointed out that it won't work for someone whose calling is to be a serious actress (or pianist, or astronaut, or world-class athlete). It doesn't work for someone whose soul mate is a non-Jew who is unable or unwilling to convert, either. <br /><br />It's all well and good to choose observance for oneself. It's a different thing to demand it of others. Torah Judaism demands that we demand it of others (whether by the soft sell or the hard sell). I don't agree that we should demand it of others, including our children.tesyaahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08411240806288272179noreply@blogger.com