Once again, Builder has pressured me into submitting an application to Giant Bais Yaakov. I fill it in, because--I don't want to lie about my past. Any problematic questions, such as my last name, I left blank. Let Builder do the lying. I want no part of it. Meanwhile, the questions are laughable.
Mother's elementary school? (Why, unless this is a blatant attempt at screening for BTs. Besides, I thought we were supposed to be on a higher spiritual level.) Shul where father davens on Shabbos? (Because of course, a respectable Jewish mother is too busy with her ever-expanding family to attend shul--not to mention if you do go, you might actually--gasp--hold by the eruv! Mechallel Shabbos!) Summer residence? (It's the same as my winter residence. And my spring residence. And my fall residence.) Grandparent's names and contact info? (Should I send you to the cemetery where Builder's parents are buried? Or to my secular-and-makes-no-bones-about-it Queen Mom, who has told me that she wants to write into her will that none of her inheritance is to go to a religious institution?) Do you own a VCR? (1995 called--they want their application back.)
However, I noticed the absence of one question I consider of utmost importance--current school performance.
On every private school known to mankind, no application is complete without a request for current and past grades. Just one line, like "All applicants for second grade or higher, please attach a copy of the student's last report card." Or a transcript request form to send to the child's current school. Or something to show that you give a damn about academic performance. (For the record, the state makes me keep and submit records about Thing 1's progress--records which I would happily provide to any school that asks.)
This, of course, combined with the pattern of obfuscation I have observed, makes me wonder if education is even the goal.
Should Builder force the issue, they will go. However, this does not mean I stop homeschooling. As far as I'm concerned, the place is a babysitting service and a means to give Builder the illusion of normalcy. Meanwhile, I will happily continue teaching my kids at home.