Today, I got a call from Giant Bais Yaakov. At first I thought they would want to schedule an interview. Not so much. Apparently, the director was concerned that Thing 1 (who, by the way, is all of SIX YEARS OLD) has never been to school. These are the answers I would have given if I were less of a lady. (FTR, I was exceedingly polite. Even Emily Post would have marveled at my restraint in the face of her rudeness.)
"Your kids are homeschooled?" (asked in a tone of abject horror)
Yes, we have three heads and leprosy.
"Nobody in Boro Park homeschools their kids."
You mean, all this time, I've been searching for a secret cabal of homeschoolers in Boro Park that DOES NOT IN FACT EXIST? I'm shocked, shocked!
"Why would you homeschool your kids?"
To keep them away from people like you. Middos, my tuches.
Then, she grills me on my background. Of course, I don't come from Boro Park. Of course, I'm a BT. Surprisingly, Builder is not. Yes, I teach them limudei kodesh. Then she tells me that it's "too late for my kids."
Apparently, Thing 1 should have started school four years ago. Even Thing 2, who is entering Pre-1a, or what the rest of the world calls kindergarten (in other words, still very young), is too old to enter school. It seems that they would rather not deal with children who are transitioning into school for the first time. They want kids who are already used to the routine. Otherwise, they are "improperly socialized." (There's that word again. Just once, I would like to see a school put more focus on academics.)
However, I should still fill out an application and come in for an interview. Looks like BYOD all over again.