Recently, I had one of those discussions with Builder that make me wonder why I signed up in the first place. I wanted to put Thing 1 in a Girl Scout troop. Builder refused to allow it, since none of the kids were frum. In fact, I think there was only one other Jewish family in the troop. Now, this doesn't bother me in the slightest. However, Builder doesn't want our children socializing with and learning values from "Goyim."
This breaks my heart.
There is a mindset that seems steeped less in Torah and more in paranoia, that the Gentile world should be avoided at all costs. There is no "taking the fruit and leaving the rind" because there is no fruit. At least, no kosher fruit. So, what happens? Children of survivors (and that would be about 90% of Hasidic Brooklyn) treat all Gentiles as potential Nazi stormtroopers. (In fact, my initial mental reaction to Builder's refusal was, "It's the Girl Scouts, not the Hitler Youth!") Other than the cleaning lady that comes once a week, few of my neighbors see Gentiles at all.
So, what is the outcome? Children who grow up with this mindset have a mentality that all Gentiles are either rabid anti-Semites, or only fit to clean their houses. Ethnic jokes and slurs abound. Families even refer to their housekeepers as "the goyta," as though she has no name. My friend CeCe, a Jewish woman of color, used to work at the Bronx WIC office. Those Jewish families that came in for benefits would avoid her and her coworkers of color like the plague. (Even though these African American and Latino Americans were working and not on benefits).
My sincerest hope is that my daughters will grow up to see all people, whether Jewish or Gentile, as human beings. Some are good, some are flawed. But neither side is perfect.