Since I left Builder about two weeks ago, I've gotten a range of responses. Surprisingly, most of them have been very supportive. Chavie, of course, had reservations. After all, how could my family possibly make it without a may-unn?(This was after I had explained that Builder had not treated me the way a husband should treat a wife--in pretty much every possible sense.) But among my supporters, I've gotten one response almost universally from those who knew me before Brooklyn.
"Hey, so you're leaving Orthodoxy, right?"
I left my husband, not my faith. The Torah is not responsible for Builder's behavior. If anything, it condemns his actions in the strongest possible terms. Judaism is a beautiful religion with many wonderful teachings about the way we should treat each other. Moreover, there are also the Things to consider. Thing 1 is already six years old--old enough to know about Shabbos, kashrut, and good middos. She has spent the better part of the past year learning various mitzvot, and the better part of her life reading the parsha. I'm sorry, but divorce causes enough upheaval in children's lives as it is. Why add in the stress of "You know all the mitzvot we spent your entire life teaching you are important? Well--they're not." I'm sorry, but that seems like a really screwed up thing to do to your kids. Finally, as I have spent the entirely of this blog explaining, the religion is not the community. It's certainly not a marriage.
See you in shul!