Jesus Camp and the 2016 election

In 2006, a documentary called Jesus Camp was released.  It followed three children who spent their summer at an Evangelical camp, and was largely a commentary on Evangelical Christian culture.
Now, I don't have a problem with the camp's existence.  My own children attend Jewish day camps every year.  Every summer, they pack up their modest bathing suits and their siddurim for a summer of fun with other Jewish kids in a Jewish environment.  So, if Christian parents wish to have their children in a religious environment, fine by me.
The documentary followed three of the camp attendees.  Levi was homeschooled using Christian curriculum materials that completely misrepresent science.  Rachael read Chick tracts and tried to convert strangers in a bowling alley.  Tory was in a Christian dance troupe where the costumes were military-knockoff camo gear.  But that wasn't my problem.
My problem is with the culture of the camp itself.
The documentary included scenes of the children praying over a life-size cardboard statue of then president George W. Bush.  The camp's culture encouraged patriotism and fealty to the Republican Party and its ideals.  At one point, the camp brought in an anti-abortion speaker who talked about the "millions of babies being killed" in a way that made the children cry.  He also taped the kids' mouths with red tape that said "LIFE" and handed out miniscule rubber baby dolls that represented embryos.  There was also a scene in which the campers are picketing the Supreme Court regarding an abortion case.  Camp director Becky Fischer was quoted as saying that she took her cues from Islamic extremists, who brainwash their followers into suicide bombings.  Although Fischer is not advocating direct acts of violence, she is pushing the children into specific political thought.  Christianity is now about conforming to an anti-abortion, anti-LGBTQ, pro-Republican agenda.
Here's the other problem.  This documentary was released in 2006.  It is now 2017.  Every single one of the kids in that documentary is now old enough to vote, and more than likely did so in the last election.  Their main concerns would not have been equal rights, or preserving health insurance for the working poor, or increasing employment opportunities.  Their concerns would have been reversing the Obergefell decision, giving protected status to Christian companies a la the Hobby Lobby case, reversing Roe v. Wade, and the spread of Christianity at the expense of non-Christians.

Clarifying the First Amendment

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..."
This is probably one of the best known lines in the Constitution.  It is also one of the most poorly understood.
There is a case before the Supreme Court now.  Two women in upstate New York are suing to ban a blatantly Christian prayer that opens a public meeting.  The women, one Jewish, one atheist, state that being forced to participate in the prayer when they attend the meetings on other business infringes on their First Amendment rights.
Let's break down that famous line from the First Amendment.
What does "prohibiting the free exercise of religion" even mean?  It means that whatever your faith, you are free to practice it as you so choose.  If you wish to cover your eyes and say the Shema twice a day, you may do so.  You may burn incense in front of a golden Buddha.  You can attend church and light candles to the Virgin Mary.  You can say "There is no G-d but Allah and Mohammed is his prophet" with complete sincerity.  You can cast a circle in Central Park on October 31st and invoke Hekate.  You can join the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  I don't care.  And neither does the US Government.
What you may not do is force me to join you.  And that's where the whole "respecting an establishment of religion" comes in.
If a hundred very devout Christians want to start a prayer club in their public school, they may.  They may not, however, insist on leading the Lord's Prayer before algebra class.  And it's the same thing here.  Go to church and pray for the welfare of the government.  But a town hall is not a church.  And a government meeting that people need to attend for business is not the place or the time to pray to a deity.  Why?  Because you're essentially holding those who do not share your beliefs hostage.  And that's not OK.
There are those who say that the US is a Christian country anyway, so let the prayers continue.  But what if it wasn't?  What if we were majority Buddhist, and every government meeting included lighting incense in front of a golden Buddha?  Those whose faiths prohibit idol worship would be outraged.  Similarly, what if we were majority Rastafarian, and every meeting included passing a bowl for a ceremonial smoke?  (Although that would make government meetings more interesting...but I digress.)
We need to remember the old rule that our rights stop at someone else's nose. 

Tznius vs loshon hara--which is more important?

Last night, Chavie and I started learning the laws of loshon hara.  We begin by stating that the best prevention for loshon hara, or evil talk, is being dan l'kaf zchus.  Loosely translated, don't judge people.  Sounds fair.  It's an idea that has a lot of merit.  And it does come straight from the Torah.  So, no arguments from me.
But then, Chavie had to continue.
She goes on about the depravity of this generation. Specifically, how a friend's daughter is wearing a skirt above the knee.  Oh no!
Um, Chavie, didn't we just finish discussing the importance of NOT JUDGING PEOPLE!?
Over and over again, our Torah discusses the importance of proper speech.  Don't judge, don't slander, don't gossip.  I think there are at least twenty separate mitzvos (if not more) related solely to speech.  However, the Torah has four--count 'em, four!--mitzvos related to dress for those of us who are not the Kohen Gadol.  And one of those is by implication only.

1. Men don't wear women's clothes
2. Women don't wear men's clothes
3. Don't blend linen and wool.
4. (this is the one that's implied) married women must cover their hair.

 Nowhere does it mention skirt length.  When I mention this to Chavie she sputters about Rabbi Falk's sefer.  I've read it.  Now, unless Hashem has changed his name to Rabbi Falk, I'm going to pay more attention to a person's words and deeds, and less to their skirt length. 

Mishenichnas Adar Marbim B'stress

Purim is in a week and a half.  The costumes, the parties, the mishloach manot, the stress!  And, as a woman, I don't even get the joys of it all.  It's not "modest" to wear costumes OR drink.  As usual, the guys and the kids have all the fun.  Funny how this USED to be my favorite holiday.
And, just for added laughs, Purim only means one thing--Pesach is a month off.  Happy cleaning!

Siddurim and tefillos

Our mornings start with davening, and of course, we distribute siddurim.
Each of us has a siddur, ranging from the smallest (mine) to the biggest (Thing 2).  All three are from Artscroll, and each is for the appropriate level.  Mine is a battered, blue, pocket-size Artscroll Korban Minchah siddur with English and Hebrew.  Builder bought me some nameplates for my books, so my Hebrew name is on the cover.  Thing 1's siddur, less than a year old, is already staring to show some dog-earing where she flips the pages absently while davening.  It is the standard-size Artscroll Chaim Shlomo Chinuch Siddur, all Hebrew, and Nusach Sefard.  Thing 2 makes do with the picture-book siddur that Artscroll designed for children.  This is easily not my favorite.  Not only is it nusach Ashkenaz only, but it's missing some of the tefillos we've incorporated, such as Hallel (on Rosh Chodesh), Yotzer Ohr (and would it have been so hard to add one line to the Barchu page), and Tehillim perek 150 (which is shorter and a lot livelier than Ashrei, which they did include.  Nothing against Ashrei--I committed it to memory years ago and won Builder's heart that way--but 22 verses is a lot for a little kid.)  However, since Thing 2 is only on the cusp of learning nekudos, it really doesn't matter that I've had to improvise so much so that she has a page.  
My rule about davening is that we add, but don't subtract.  In other words, if the Things learn a tefillah in camp, davening group or elsewhere, we add it into our morning davening.  However, when Thing 1 told me that her camp skipped certain tefillos that I had made routine, I said.  "That's nice.  You're home now.  No more skipping."  As of now, our morning tefillos consist of the following:
Modeh Ani
Reshis Chochma
Torah Tziva Lanu Moshe
Ma Tovu
Adon Olam
Yigdal
Netilas Yadayim/Asher Yatzar
Bircas haTorah (but we skip the readings from the Mishna and the Talmud)
Bircas haShachar (first 14)
Tehillim perek 150
Barchu/Yotzer Ohr (Builder said it's OK to say this without a minyan, since it's for chinuch purposes.)
Shema/V'ahvta
First two brachos of Shemonah Esrei (eventually we'll add the third)
Aleinu, first half
Ani Maamim number 12 (not my idea, Thing 1 imported it from summer camp two years ago.)

I doubt he'll survive his sentence

Today, a NY state judge sentenced Nechemya Weberman, an unlicensed therapist convicted to 59 counts of sexual abuse against a girl who came to him for counseling when she was twelve, to 103 years in prison.  The abuse lasted three years and included a four-hour trip upstate.
This should be fun. 
First of all, Weberman is 54 years old.  If he begins his sentence today, he won't get out until he's 157.
Secondly, word travels fast in prison.  Child molesters are the lowest of the low in prison, hated by guards and inmates alike.  Sure, the system will keep Weberman in isolation--but he has to get out sometime.  And, if does end up in isolation, it means 23 hours a day in lockdown, with one hour outside.  No minyan.  No Daf Yomi.  Probably only supervised use of tefillin (the straps could be considered a weapon.).  Fear of reprisals from inmates who see him raping their little girls.
Finally, the judge also sentenced seven people of trying to intimidate the witness.  This case has blown the lock of a secretive community.  Hopefully the fresh air will get rid of the festering rot inside.

When ceremonies backfire

Last night, Builder and I went to my nephew's pidyon haben.  (As in, my nephew was the baby's father.  It's about the only time that it registers that Builder is older than me.)
As my nephew redeemed his new son from his uncle (who is a Kohen), I had to wonder--what would the Kohen do if the father said, "You know, I'm not really ready for fatherhood, and taking care of kids is more than my wife and I can handle right now.  You take the kid, and I'll keep the coins."
Now, I've only seen about three of these in my life, because they're extremely rare.  However, this is a serious ceremony that means something!  Parents are actually asked if they want to give their firstborn to the priesthood!  There is a chance that a parent my take the Kohen up on his offer!
It's like the chalitza ceremony.  A few years ago, I saw a TV movie called Loving Leah.  It was about a man whose brother became a BT, married a frum girl, and died young and childless.  The secular brother had to show up for chalitza.  However, he felt guilty about cutting off his brother for so many years, that he ended up marrying his sister-in-law.  Weird premise for a movie, but it proves my point.  These ceremonies actually mean something.  I'm sure that at some point there were parents who gave up their children to the priesthood, either out of poverty or some kind of "safe haven" because they were overwhelmed.  Like dumping newborns off at the firehouse.  A little something to think about at the next pidyon haben.

The penis and the germ

Recently, here in New York, there has been a great deal of discussion about circumcision.  Specifically, the need to regulate and/or ban metzitzah b'peh.
For the uninitiated, metzitzh b'peh is a procedure that dates at least as far back as the Gemara.  After the infant is cut, the mohel uses his mouth to stop the bleeding and draw out any stray blood.  Yeah.  Ick.  Gross-out factors aside, there are those who would argue that a bris performed without metztzah b'peh is invalid.  And the Board of Health is concerned about this little procedure because infants have been coming down with herpes--which the Board has linked to metztzah b'peh.  Of course, those on the side of metztzah b'peh argue that the chances of catching herpes from a mohel are impossible or at least very small.
Pardon me while I get all post-modern, but I don't think so.  OK, in the Gemara nothing was understood about germ theory.  Nowadays, we stop the bleeding with sterile sutures, not saliva.
Consider, if you will, the penis.

The human penis is rich with blood vessels.  Blood flow is what causes the physical effects of arousal, colloquially known as an erection, woody, or hard-on.  And these blood vessels, like all others, flow to and from the heart.  Should anything get into those blood vessels, they have a one-way ticket to a mean infection.
Now consider the germ.
Herpes simplex is caused by a virus.  Viruses, unlike bacteria, are not true cells.  They are simply bundles of DNA.  Scientists are not even sure how to classify them.  And they cannot be destroyed by antibiotics.  Herpes simplex is a particularly vicious little bug that has, at this time, no known cure.  Now, in an adult, it manifests itself as sores on either the mouth or genitals.  In the mouth, these are commonly known as cold sores.  However, to an 8-day-old infant whose idea of immunity is whatever got handed down in Mommy's colostrum (and G-d help the bottle-fed, who don't get all their mother's antibodies), herpes simplex can cause brain damage and death. 
So now you have a mohel placing his saliva (which is filled with bacteria anyway, even without the herpes virus) on an open wound, on an organ filled with blood vessels, on a fragile newborn.  Do you want to take the Vegas odds that everything will be fine?

Remind me again--which religion am I supposed to be practicing?

I believe it was Judaism, but I'm not sure.  Because the Judaism I practice should not have supernatural elements.
A story circulating on the Yeshiva World News website (HT: DovBear)seriously makes me wonder.  Tefillin has possul word in it, and man keeps losing his sons?  Come again?
Now, if I were a practicing Wiccan, this story would make sense as a talisman gone awry.  However, I'm not.  In fact Judaism specifically forbids performing magic spells.  By extension, we should not put faith in a ritual item (such as tefillin) to act as some sort of talisman.  The tefillin are a physical reminder to think about and do G-d's work, as is laid out in the Shema.  That's why they are bound on the head and arm.  The head is the seat of thought, and the arm is symbolic of action.  By attributing every misfortune in our lives to a chipped letter in the tefillin, we are taking this mitzvah and perverting it beyond recognition.

The G-d of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob--and Python

I'm an Orthodox Jew.  That means I believe in G-d.  The G-d that gave us the Torah at Sinai.  The G-d that inspired Abraham and then put him through hell in the name of testing his faith (I have to send away one kid and then kill another?  Okay.).  The G-d who decided that Jacob's best trait was truth, given how many little falsehoods got him ahead (besides the birthright for a bowl of lentil soup thing, there was also impersonating his brother to get his blind father's blessing, and then showing spotted rods to the mating goats so that their kids would be spotted.).  The G-d who let Miriam die right outside of Israel for--what reason, exactly?  Wasn't she already punished for speaking against her brother?  You know, getting tzaraas?  Did G-d just want to trigger the whole "waters of Meriba" test?  And then there was the G-d who put the completely off-limits Tree of Knowledge right smack in the middle of Gan Eden, and then created a serpent to test Adam and Eve into taking a bite.  Like we couldn't have called the ending on that one.
Because I'm an Orthodox Jew, I believe all of this.  Why?  Because I like to think G-d just has a very odd sense of humor.

How else can you explain all of the events in the Tanach?