Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The G-d of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob--and Python

I'm an Orthodox Jew.  That means I believe in G-d.  The G-d that gave us the Torah at Sinai.  The G-d that inspired Abraham and then put him through hell in the name of testing his faith (I have to send away one kid and then kill another?  Okay.).  The G-d who decided that Jacob's best trait was truth, given how many little falsehoods got him ahead (besides the birthright for a bowl of lentil soup thing, there was also impersonating his brother to get his blind father's blessing, and then showing spotted rods to the mating goats so that their kids would be spotted.).  The G-d who let Miriam die right outside of Israel for--what reason, exactly?  Wasn't she already punished for speaking against her brother?  You know, getting tzaraas?  Did G-d just want to trigger the whole "waters of Meriba" test?  And then there was the G-d who put the completely off-limits Tree of Knowledge right smack in the middle of Gan Eden, and then created a serpent to test Adam and Eve into taking a bite.  Like we couldn't have called the ending on that one.
Because I'm an Orthodox Jew, I believe all of this.  Why?  Because I like to think G-d just has a very odd sense of humor.
How else can you explain all of the events in the Tanach?


  1. You can explain them in many ways that don't involve a divine author.

  2. No you can't, tesyaa.

    Anyway, the best way to understand how the universe works is to realize that God has a sense of humour, unlike all those dreary rabbonim nowadays who insist on seeing Him as a grumpy old man looking to give us a whuppin for any perceived misbehaviour. Sometimes God really does look down upon us and say "Hah!"

  3. Garnel, thanks to your comment I've seen the light! You are right and I am wrong! You just saved my soul! Shkoyach!


I'm not Monty Python. I hate SPAM.