Tuesday, March 20, 2012

What did I sign up for--Superficiality

Last week, I read an article in the Jewish Press, in which the author rejects girls for her "great" son because they weren't pretty enough.  HUH? 
And all this time, I thought that spirituality counted more than looks.  Only the secular world encouraged puff-brained beauties.  But no, out of the window go good middos, compassion, business acumen, learning, and good conversation.  In comes Marilyn Monroe from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.  (Ironically, Marilyn herself had to change both her appearance and her name to be acceptable to Hollywood.)
Now, I have no problem with advising girls to use makeup, hairstyles, and grooming to show themselves to their best advantage.  However, I would strongly condemn the author for her casual attitude towards both massive weight loss and cosmetic surgery.  Perhaps she should visit a hospital where young women are being treated for eating disorders.  Also, maybe she ought to consider that these young women were attempting to impress their future mothers-in-law with their modesty, simplicity and frugality.  They wanted to show that they could turn their hands to the varied, and often menial, tasks involved in running a home without breaking their families' collective banks.  They wanted to show that they would not demand $800 strollers, extravagant wardrobes, or top-of-the-line cosmetics--all out of the budget for a learning family.
Yet another moment when I shake my head and ask, "What did I sign up for?"


  1. Excellent post! I 100% agree with you.
    But consider this: you signed up for a close relationship with God based on performance of His mitzvos and study of His Torah. As a BT you have a different perspective than FFB's. FFB's (well, lots of them but not all) do what they do by rote, because they've always done it. They don't contemplate God's greatness when they say a beracha, they just mumble it because that's just what they've always done. A BT knows that each behaviour is special and treats it as such.
    So it's no surprise that there is such superficiality in the frum world. These frummies are essentially secular in outlook coupled wtih frum ritual behaviour.

    Garnel Ironheart

  2. We spoke about this on the phone. The mothers seem worse than the boys. I am also wondering about Frum moms like my own being too smothering, treating our unmarrieds like children. My mom thinks that my brother who is a racist bum who cant hold a job is this big great catch....


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