When I heard about the death of Whitney Houston last week, I was shocked. Now I'm bored. The funeral, the search for medical records, her money, Bobby Brown and their daughter--seriously, who cares anymore?
Judging by the turnout at her funeral, I would guess--a lot of people.
When we heard about the violence in Beit Shemesh, Builder and I were shocked. Now, Builder doesn't want to hear about it anymore. However, I do.
And this is what I realize. For Whitney Houston fans, her death meant something. It meant the end of a pop star and legend. It meant a favorite musician would no longer perform, no longer release new songs, no longer win a Grammy. It affected their lives. Since I really hadn't followed Whitney Houston's career, I didn't really care about the details. Similarly, the violence in Beit Shemesh is something I want to think about because it affects me. A lot of gender discrimination that originated in Israel has crossed the ocean and come to Brooklyn. How much longer before I have to duck a zealot's rocks? Before they get in my face and call me a slut? How much longer can I walk the streets in Brooklyn before every payot-sporting male declares war on me because of the way I dress? But, because Builder doesn't have to worry about gender segregation, or a dress code that grows more restrictive by the hour, it doesn't affect him. And so he's tired of it. But I can't ever be.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
What ABOUT socialization?
Last week, we had a guest for Shabbos who didn't know that I am homeschooling my kids for the time being. She asked me where my kids go to school. "Weeeeell....they don't." "But they will at some point, right?" "Weeeeell...." "Don't tell me you're going to HOMESCHOOL them?! Kids need FRIENDS! They need to SOCIALIZE! Your kids will grow up WEIRD!"
I get that a lot. No one wonders how my kids will learn to read, do math, or parse a Chumash. But they all ask about socialization.
Recently, on Imamother, there was a thread. A mother had written to the Yated, asking about pulling her child out of school for one year. She got about seven or eight responses, all of them variants on the same theme: "What about SOCIALIZATION?" To hear that question, one would think that school is an eight-hour playdate. That the sole reason for going to school and paying all that tuition is so your kids can have thirty "bestest friends," all the same age.
Except when they don't. See, schools don't hand-pick classmates or teachers, so every class is a mixed bag. Some kids will be friends with your kids, some won't. And even if your children are fortunate enough to make a few friends, that's not really the point. Schools were not designed as social clubs, but as a way to efficiently educate large numbers of kids. Most of the time, kids sit quietly, either listening to a teacher or doing schoolwork. Not socializing. Making friends is a by-product, not a goal. Kids actually socialize more effectively when they can mix with large groups of different kids of different ages with grown-ups on hand to monitor the situation. Not in a silent classroom or chaotic school playground.
I get that a lot. No one wonders how my kids will learn to read, do math, or parse a Chumash. But they all ask about socialization.
Recently, on Imamother, there was a thread. A mother had written to the Yated, asking about pulling her child out of school for one year. She got about seven or eight responses, all of them variants on the same theme: "What about SOCIALIZATION?" To hear that question, one would think that school is an eight-hour playdate. That the sole reason for going to school and paying all that tuition is so your kids can have thirty "bestest friends," all the same age.
Except when they don't. See, schools don't hand-pick classmates or teachers, so every class is a mixed bag. Some kids will be friends with your kids, some won't. And even if your children are fortunate enough to make a few friends, that's not really the point. Schools were not designed as social clubs, but as a way to efficiently educate large numbers of kids. Most of the time, kids sit quietly, either listening to a teacher or doing schoolwork. Not socializing. Making friends is a by-product, not a goal. Kids actually socialize more effectively when they can mix with large groups of different kids of different ages with grown-ups on hand to monitor the situation. Not in a silent classroom or chaotic school playground.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Rabbis are not immortal!
Rav Elyashiv is in the hospital, apparently not doing well.
I'm sorry to hear that, I really am. However, let's face facts for a moment. The guy is, what, 101? That would make him, according to secular parlance, "older than dirt."
Last summer we lost another great rosh yeshiva, Rav Kopelman. He was 106. The deaths of Rav Kopelman and Rav Frankel apparently brought down the level of kedusha in the world to a point where an eight-year-old boy could be murdered by a fellow Jew . Okay, but getting back to planet reality for a moment. I don't care if you are a rosh yeshiva or a trash collector. When you enter your second century, you are OLD!!! Really, really OLD!!!! And your body will stop working the way it did. And it's OK! Really! Because G-d made human beings with an expiration date! And even rabbis will have it.
So, yes, if Rav Elyashiv should not happen to recover, I will feel sad. But I will not regard it as a great tragedy. Because he lived a good, long life. He will have died at the age of a hundred and something--which is more than most people do. And he will be called home to be with Hashem. So, really, it's not a tragedy, just a completion of the natural order of the world.
I'm sorry to hear that, I really am. However, let's face facts for a moment. The guy is, what, 101? That would make him, according to secular parlance, "older than dirt."
Last summer we lost another great rosh yeshiva, Rav Kopelman. He was 106. The deaths of Rav Kopelman and Rav Frankel apparently brought down the level of kedusha in the world to a point where an eight-year-old boy could be murdered by a fellow Jew . Okay, but getting back to planet reality for a moment. I don't care if you are a rosh yeshiva or a trash collector. When you enter your second century, you are OLD!!! Really, really OLD!!!! And your body will stop working the way it did. And it's OK! Really! Because G-d made human beings with an expiration date! And even rabbis will have it.
So, yes, if Rav Elyashiv should not happen to recover, I will feel sad. But I will not regard it as a great tragedy. Because he lived a good, long life. He will have died at the age of a hundred and something--which is more than most people do. And he will be called home to be with Hashem. So, really, it's not a tragedy, just a completion of the natural order of the world.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Rabbis are not infallible!
Lately, I've been having some frustrations with my chavrusa (hereafter known as Chavie--all names have been changed to protect the guilty.) A couple of years ago, we started out studying the parsha. That lasted until we both figured out that I could wipe the floor with her in Chumash, despite the fact that she graduated from Bais Yaakov, and I--never went to Hebrew School. So, then we started studying Hilchos Shabbos. Actually, she started reading me the Meoros HaShabbos series. We're still doing it. However, our discussions get sidetracked from time to time. Meoros HaShabbos intersperses various halachot with stories of the rabbis of the past. They're the usual stories about rabbis performing miracles, or being particularly careful in observance. This usually leads to some fur flying. See, I don't believe in the idea that G-d listens to a rabbi's prayers more than He listens to mine. I don't believe that red strings, or blue beads, or baking challah with a group of women, or being more stringent with how you choose to cover your body, will lead to financial success, health, shidduchim, or children. Chavie, on the other hand, believes the rabbis are, well, about a step removed from being G-d. One time, during one of these stories, the rabbi in the story said something unsavory. I remarked that he sounded like a jerk. Chavie read me the riot act. "How can you SAY that? This is a great rabbi! He's a learned scholar! He has yiras Shamayim!..." and on and on. So what? He can still be a jerk from time to time.
Also, I think it's important not just to know the halachot, but to know their source. So, for example, we are studying the laws of a Gentile performing a melacha on Shabbos. Bottom line--we're not supposed to benefit from it. I said that it's because G-d commanded in the Torah that Shabbos is a day of rest not only for us, but for our servants and our animals. Asking a Gentile to do something for you (especially if you're PAYING him) violates this. Chavie's response? "If the rabbis said it, that's good enough for me." Well, it's not good enough for me. I want to understand their logic. After all, rabbis are great people. They are learned. They have yiras Shamayim. But they are still only human. They can still make mistakes. There is only one Infallible Being in this world. And He is not now, nor has He ever been, a person.
Also, I think it's important not just to know the halachot, but to know their source. So, for example, we are studying the laws of a Gentile performing a melacha on Shabbos. Bottom line--we're not supposed to benefit from it. I said that it's because G-d commanded in the Torah that Shabbos is a day of rest not only for us, but for our servants and our animals. Asking a Gentile to do something for you (especially if you're PAYING him) violates this. Chavie's response? "If the rabbis said it, that's good enough for me." Well, it's not good enough for me. I want to understand their logic. After all, rabbis are great people. They are learned. They have yiras Shamayim. But they are still only human. They can still make mistakes. There is only one Infallible Being in this world. And He is not now, nor has He ever been, a person.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Bringing in some outside customs
My kids and I had a little Tu B'Shevat seder today.
The first time I'd even heard about a Tu B'Shevat Seder was about a decade ago. (And the first one I ever went to was hosted by a group of Messianics--yee.) During my transition from not caring to Orthodox, I attended several. Some were kabbalistic, others focused more on Israel, while others tried to only focus on the seven species. When I moved to Brooklyn, I spent my first Tu B'Shevat here as Mrs. Builder. And that's when I found out--Builder had never hosted, attended, or even heard about Tu B'Shevat seders. Basically, Builder's idea of celebrating Tu B'Shevat was eating dried fruit. That was about it.
So, this afternoon, the Things and I went out for red and white grape juice. I printed a haggadah off the Internet. While we didn't have too many fruits (short attention spans), we still had a nice little basic seder, just the three of us. And I'm starting to think about next year!
The first time I'd even heard about a Tu B'Shevat Seder was about a decade ago. (And the first one I ever went to was hosted by a group of Messianics--yee.) During my transition from not caring to Orthodox, I attended several. Some were kabbalistic, others focused more on Israel, while others tried to only focus on the seven species. When I moved to Brooklyn, I spent my first Tu B'Shevat here as Mrs. Builder. And that's when I found out--Builder had never hosted, attended, or even heard about Tu B'Shevat seders. Basically, Builder's idea of celebrating Tu B'Shevat was eating dried fruit. That was about it.
So, this afternoon, the Things and I went out for red and white grape juice. I printed a haggadah off the Internet. While we didn't have too many fruits (short attention spans), we still had a nice little basic seder, just the three of us. And I'm starting to think about next year!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Super Bowl 2012
Normally, I have no interest in sports. However, Builder, who used to play pick-up games of football in yeshiva, got me hooked on football. My interest peaks around the post-season. Especially this year, because the Giants were playing the Patriots. Between Builder being a New York fan, and my negative experiences in a New England boarding-school (which is how I ended up graduating high school as a homeschooler), it's not much of a stretch to know who I cheered for.
Well, the Giants won. It was a close game, serious errors were made on both sides (including a couple of penalties that cost the Giants dearly. Also, Tom Brady can NOT throw a Hail Mary.), and both sides were evenly matched. However, at the end, The Giants beat the Patriots, 21-17.
Well, the Giants won. It was a close game, serious errors were made on both sides (including a couple of penalties that cost the Giants dearly. Also, Tom Brady can NOT throw a Hail Mary.), and both sides were evenly matched. However, at the end, The Giants beat the Patriots, 21-17.
Friday, February 3, 2012
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