Wednesday, March 14, 2012


Lately, I've had a bad case of "Pesach Brain."  This condition lasts until the first Seder.  The symptoms are that I get obsessed with Pesach cleaning, bore everyone to tears, and get snappish with the Things.  (All homeschooling, other than learning about Pesach, is put on hold).  My cure--at the first Seder, I pour myself a very potent, very full first cup.  I empty it within the requisite minute or two, and spend the first Seder in a state of drunken bliss.
Today, I was telling Queen Mom about my cleaning escapades.  I said that if Builder had an Indian name, it would be "Clothes Horse."  The man has more clothing and shoes than me and the Things combined, and I can't throw any of it away.   Meanwhile, I set up a "donation pile" in the upstairs hallway, so now it looks like a scene straight out of A&E's "Hoarders."  Queen Mom suggested, "Why don't you just call 1-800-GOT-JUNK?"  Great idea EXCEPT--I want it donated.  Builder wants it donated to a gemach.  Fine, just get it out of my house!  Or, I will.
This made me think of a fun idea.  Why not have an organization called 1-800-GOT-CHAMETZ?  A service that comes and cleans your house for Pesach!  They could come, wash all your linen, vacuum and flip the beds, check all your pockets and books, wash down all the shelves, and turn over your kitchen.  This would mean that I can spend the first nice days looking for crocuses instead of crumbs.

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